Marriage builds on trust, care, and emotional support. When someone from outside harms that bond, it can lead to deep pain.
Some U.S. states give spouses the power to sue the person who caused that damage. This legal action is called an alienation of affection lawsuit.
The goal is not to fix the marriage. It is to hold someone responsible if they broke it apart on purpose. Many people do not know this type of lawsuit still exists.
It may sound old, but in a few states, the law protects marriage from outside harm. This article explains what the lawsuit means, where it applies, and what a person must prove.
What Does Alienation of Affection Mean?
Alienation of affection means one spouse has lost love, trust, or connection due to someone else’s actions.
This is not about a couple growing apart on their own. It is about a third party that stepped in and broke the bond.
The lawsuit gives the hurt spouse a way to seek justice. This often happens after an affair or a long pattern of influence. The person being sued is not the spouse.
It is the outsider who caused the breakup. In some cases, that person is a lover. In others, it might be a friend, a co-worker, or even a family member.
The law sees marriage as more than a private matter. It views the marriage bond as something the state can protect. If someone tears it down without reason, the law allows a legal response.
This kind of claim is civil, not criminal. That means it leads to money damages, not jail time.
Which States Still Allow These Lawsuits?
Most states in the U.S. have ended alienation of affection claims. They view them as outdated or harmful. S
ome courts say people have the right to leave a marriage without facing a lawsuit. Others say proving who caused the breakup is too messy.
Still, six states allow these lawsuits in 2025:
- North Carolina
- Mississippi
- New Mexico
- Utah
- South Dakota
- Hawaii (rarely used)
In these states, the law stands strong. North Carolina sees the most cases. Judges there often hear about long affairs or direct actions meant to split up a couple. Some verdicts reach large amounts.
Juries have awarded more than $500,000 in real cases. The idea behind these laws is clear: if someone interferes with love, they may pay the price.
If you plan to sue, speak with a family law attorney. You may also need legal help from professionals who handle emotional or criminal guide claims.
What You Must Prove in Court
You cannot sue just because your marriage ended. Courts need solid proof. They want to see that the marriage was healthy before someone else caused harm. They also want clear facts to show who broke the bond.
A person must prove five main things:
A legal marriage existed
This may sound basic, but it matters. The marriage must be legal and ongoing during the time of harm. If the couple was already broken or divorced, the lawsuit may not work.
The marriage had real love and affection
This means the relationship must have shown signs of closeness, care, and emotional support. The marriage does not have to be perfect. But there must be some level of love present before the interference.
That love was lost
There must be a clear drop in affection. A person can show this through changes in behavior, distance between spouses, or signs of growing apart. Often, one spouse may move out or seek a divorce.
The outsider caused the loss
This part is often the hardest. You must prove that the third party’s actions directly led to the breakdown. This may include text messages, photos, letters, or witness accounts. The court wants proof of influence, not just bad luck.
Harm occurred
The last step is showing how the loss of love hurts the person. This may include emotional pain, stress, shame, or even financial strain. Courts look at the full picture when deciding how much to award.
Who Can You Sue?
The most common target in these lawsuits is the person who had an affair with the spouse. But they are not the only ones who can face the claim.
You can sue anyone who clearly took steps to destroy the marriage. This may include a co-worker who encouraged cheating.
It could be a parent who talked the spouse into leaving. It might even be a friend who spread lies or created doubt in the marriage.
The court focuses on intent and impact. Did the person act on purpose to cause harm? Did their actions lead to the loss of love? If both answers are yes, the lawsuit may move forward.
It is not enough to show someone gave advice or offered a kind word. There must be clear and harmful steps taken. Courts want to see a pattern, not just one slip.
How Damages Work in These Cases
If the court agrees with the plaintiff, it can award money. This helps the hurt spouse deal with the loss. It also punishes the one who caused it. Damages vary from case to case.
Emotional distress is a common reason for monetary awards. The court looks at how the person suffered after the loss. Did they feel shame, pain, or public embarrassment? Did they lose sleep or go through therapy?
Loss of companionship also plays a role. The court sees the spouse as someone who offered love and support. Losing that may change a person’s life. The award can reflect that loss.
Punitive damages may apply when the third party acted with cruelty or recklessness. These are larger amounts meant to punish and warn others.
Some cases settle before trial. Others go all the way through court. Either way, the process takes time and strong proof.
Real Cases and Big Verdicts
Some alienation of affection lawsuits make headlines. One man in North Carolina won over $750,000 after proving that another man broke up his marriage.
The court saw clear texts, emails, and other proof. The case showed how seriously the law takes this issue.
Another case involved a woman who sued her husband’s co-worker. She claimed the co-worker spent months building a secret relationship.
The court found that the affair caused the breakup. The jury awarded a large amount to the wife.
Each case is unique. But they all follow the same rules. The hurt person must show that the third party stepped in and caused real damage.
Why Some People Support These Lawsuits
Supporters of alienation of affection lawsuits say they protect the heart of marriage. They believe people should not be able to harm a union without facing the cost.
The law gives power to the wronged spouse. It also shows that society still values loyalty.
Some people say these claims stop others from crossing lines. They believe fear of a lawsuit keeps people from taking risky steps.
Supporters also say the money helps the hurt person heal. They believe the pain of a broken marriage should not go ignored.
In states where the law stands, voters and lawmakers continue to defend it. They say love has value.
So does the promise made between two people. If someone breaks that promise from the outside, the law steps in.
Why Others Want These Laws Ended
Critics see these lawsuits as old-fashioned. They say adults should be free to leave a marriage if they want.
They argue that no one “steals” a spouse. Instead, they say the marriage was already weak before the third party arrived.
They also worry about false claims. Some lawsuits may be driven by anger, not truth. These cases can drag private issues into the open.
Courts may hear about affairs, lies, and family fights. Critics say this causes more harm than good.
Other people believe love cannot be forced. If a spouse leaves, it may be due to deep problems. Blaming someone else, they say, avoids facing those truths.
Because of these views, most states have ended this type of lawsuit. Only a few places still allow them. Even in those states, cases must meet high standards.
What You Should Do If You Plan to Sue
If you live in a state where this law still exists, take these steps:
- Speak with a family law attorney in your area. They can tell you if your case meets the rules.
- Save all proof. This includes texts, emails, letters, and anything else that shows harmful acts.
- Be honest about your marriage. Courts want to see that love existed before the third party acted.
- Understand the emotional cost. These cases often uncover painful truths. Be ready for that.
An experienced lawyer can help you build your case. They can also warn you about risks and limits.
Conclusion
Alienation of affection lawsuits sit at a hard place between law and emotion. They give voice to hurt, but they also raise deep questions. What is love worth in court? Who truly caused the pain?
In a few states, the law still allows answers. People there can sue if someone tears down a marriage without cause.
The process takes time, effort, and proof. But for some, the fight is worth it. It brings justice and helps close a painful chapter.
Understanding this law gives people power. It helps them decide if legal action makes sense. It also shows that in some parts of the country, love still has legal weight.
Disclaimer:
This article is for general information only. It does not give legal advice. Speak with a licensed attorney in your state about your specific case.
